Oooooh....Goodness...

So I started my new CPS job this last week and I feel like I've found my place! When it finally came down to it the night before I usually toss and turn and wake up with heartburn so bad, but this time I slept like a baby and have gotten up with enough time every morning I don't have to rush and I can even eat breakfast! So Monday was new employee orientation, total snoozefest, then the afternoon the 10 of us were sent off to meet our OJT/BSD (on the job training/basic skills development) supervisor. Basically it's a 12 week class (for investigators, 13 weeks for everyone else) about CPS and the different areas, it honestly feels like a college class with the amount of work that we have to do, but hey I'm being paid really well to just do this for 12 weeks...I'm so not complaining! I realized when we were sitting around there were 3 different areas the 10 of us were going into. Myself and the only guy in class will be investigators, a few of the girls will be Family Based Safety Services (the position they offered me and I didn't really want) and the rest will be going into Conservitorship (when the state takes custody of the kids they do that part). So we were going around the room and at least 3 of the girls all mentioned that investigation was their first choice but they got their second choice. Wow...I was chosen above all those people. I'm not being full of myself, I'm usually my worst critic and to hear that really makes me less hard on myself. So the first day I was assigned this uber expensive dell laptop/tablet thingy and a box of computer equipment I mostly know how to use. The second day I went to my home office and met my unit and the first thing they did was show me where my office is!!! I HAVE AN OFFICE, I've never had an office, I've had an ambulance, a desk, shared a radio console, but now...I have an office with a phone extension and a place to put my stuff...I'm totally jazzed. The second day I also got a cell phone and a camera, I've never had an employer trust me with so much expensive equipment so fast! My unit is way cool, the supervisor believes in bonding and spending time together and out of the 10 of us there is only one guy and the other girls chat about like gritty girl stuff, like me, totally opposite of the last place I worked...these girls think and talk LIKE ME!!! Today they bought me breakfast and we ate and bonded and giggled. After 3 years of feeling like I don't belong and don't fit in, finally I have a place where I fit in. I also have a mentor, she came and sat in my office (hehe) today and was talking to me about some of her cases just like I had been there for a while. Also there's the unit tech admin who can get anything you ask for. I feel almost like a battered wife, they come in asking me what they can order for me, get for me, what kinda tacos I like and I'm not used to it yet but I'm way happy, they are all happy and excited about coming to work which makes for a good workplace...thank you god!

The Beaverhausen

New Career, New Possibilities

So my new career starts on Monday morning, new employee orientation. I can only imagine how riveting orientation will be *insert eyeroll here hehe*. Something happened that has never happened before also, my new supervisor called me Friday around 2ish to welcome me to the unit and she's excited I'm joining...I was stunned! I have never had a supervisor call to welcome me beforehand, it actually makes me feel more excited. Plus I was asking if I was the only new hire to the unit because I knew there was 3 positions open and they interviewed 20 people. She mentioned that I must have been pretty good to get hired on those odds, HELLO...now I feel EVEN BETTER!

So with the new job and higher pay I've been thinking about a change in lifestyle. I've already tackled the stop smoking and start exercising next is the eating habits. A friend of mine has been doing The Eat-Clean Diet and she really likes it. Reading it I know it seems really rough but I remember giving up sugar before and I felt awesome, there are cheat days for the refined carbs and things, and the energy and feeling better would be great! The biggest hurdle of all for any eating plan is to realize that I'm only human and will occasionally eat bad. I will not beat myself up for falling off the wagon, just move on past it and continue on with life. I'm going to the bookstore tomorrow to see if I can find this book and see what happens.

As Always,

The Beaverhausen

Being Brave...and Tired...

So it is official, I finished my last day at the PD and lined up my last check. All that is left to be done is turn in my uniform shirts and my time there is finished. It's kinda sad because those people were like family, the drunk sisters, the critical mother, the micro-managing father. Dysfunctional family, yes but family none the less. It seems that when word got out that I was leaving it spread like wildfire! This week alone I've been told how valuable I was and how much I'll be missed by people that usually don't acknowledge me, why couldn't they tell me this while I was still there? When I was on the ambulance and my dispatcher was running me to death if they just told me "Thank You so much for your help, I understand I've been working you hard and you're here late but thank you so much!" that would revive me for another run, so when I became a dispatcher I did that for my officers. I will admit that I try to let people know I appreciate them. Also I almost cried today. The manager of dispatch, also known as The Petty Little Napoleon Syndrome Riddled Man in a former post, told me he was proud of me today. It's not that I never hear that from anyone, I do. My closest wonderful friends and my mother tell me all the time, but to hear it coming from someone that in my dysfunctional work family was the father type figure brought up emotions about my own lack of a father and how he doesn't even know I have a new career or the nature of it.

Another thing that always shocks me is that people think of me as brave. I don't necessarily feel brave, to me it feels like I go charging off into some half thought out scheme with nothing going on in my head. In the last few years I've almost completely recovered financially from my decision to divorce my husband, lost weight, stopped smoking, graduated college, and some other things I'm sure that seem trivial to me but inspire other people. I have tattoos and have had piercings in unmentionable places and have even inspired others to do those things. I don't think I'm brave, I think I'm actually kinda dumb. Awesome, but dumb. It seems that even my quitting and going to a new job inspired a few people to not be complacent and comfortable in a place where you are unhappy. Is it bravery or is it a different set of priorities? I would actually tell you that my life is completely self centered, and I'm very happy with it that way.

What an emotionally draining day,

A. B.

Student Loans Give Me The Scratch!

So I had a dream of graduating college, getting at least a bachelors degree, pursuing a career that will make me happy and living a better life...all this came tumbling down when the grace period was officially over. With the recent economy in crisis my student loan that I got from 1 bank each time I re-upped was sold off to 4 different loan servicers. Really???...and I've got bills from each one wanting payment PRONTO! So consolidation here I come. I don't understand though because each payment is going to the US Dept of Education...and if you go to the department of education website it shows all my educational loans listed with 4 different companies. They know they have me bent over a barrel, they just don't care! It's like when I had surgery in January 2009, I got bills from everyone! The hospital, the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, 2 different labs, and lord knows who else. The one silver lining of the whole thing, because of the nature of my new employer I may only have to pay student loans back for 10 years and then be forgiven for the rest...whew! I wonder who I can start billing for my precious time...hmmm. Student loans give me the scratch!

No One Else Has The Guts To Be,

The Beaverhausen

Reality and Eye Pain...

So I've made it through another weekend, only 3 more shifts to go at the PD and reality is starting to set in. As much as my coworkers drove me nuts they also made me laugh a lot. I am such a creature of habit, about 90% of the time I love a good schedule. My grandfather was the same way and I find this is how I am just like him, I do the same things at the same time, go to the gym at the same time, leave for work around the same time every day, I'm very boring in this manner and I love it. Stability makes me happy and secure. My jobs I've had for the last 9 years have all been chaotic and crazy, that's how I get my chaos in, home needs to be safe and stable, but I digress. I'm really scared of new things, leaving my comfort zone and going to a new place of employment really gives me the scratch. There will be new people and new things to learn and my confidence will be shaken to the core. It's not that I doubt my ability to do it, it's just new and I'm nervous! I know this is the right thing to do, my instincts were saying this is right and it's time to go, so go I must. I guess with all my nervous energy I'll have to find a new yoga class, suck it up and go to the hard pilates class on Saturdays and Bodypump it until my muscles give out. I went to a Bodypump class Friday before the date after missing last week and I'm very aware of my thighs and triceps.

So my eye has been hurting and it's clearly something on the surface so I'm thinking my eye is scratched. It feels better than it did this morning but man, still it's uncomfortable! I called the eye doctor's office to leave a message and find out that they aren't open until Tuesday and there is a phone number on the answering machine to call the doctor directly in case of emergency. What constitutes an eye emergency? It just feels scratched, I can still see out of it, there is no fluid gushing out of it and it is still securely in my head. I texted The Gay Husband about it (because he's so smart he should have been a doctor) and he just told me to wash out my eye and put a cold compress on it, such a good non-sexual not actually married repulsed by my girl parts Gay Husband.

By the way, I've heard from Mr. DHAFG every day.

As Always,

The Beaverhausen

Yay Me!!!

hehehe...date with Mr. DHAFG went way more successful than expected and he's polite!!! When we first met I didn't think anything would happen and we laughed and played pool and drank a beer or two and then he walked me to my car and all very standard. We talked about mustangs and cameros...he has an older camero I have a new mustang. Then he wanted to go for a ride in my mustang, I'm like OK...so we are sitting there in the car for like an hour and he keeps looking in my eyes and I keep asking what is on his mind, I'm starting to feel attraction. He finally says "I'm trying to decide if I should make a move or not" so I calmly say "if you want to I think you should" AND HE DID!!! Let the kissing commence! He was so reluctant to leave AND he already wants to see me again next weekend!!! The most important part, he asked what was on my mind, and naturally with all the kissing I'm thinking sex. I decline to say what is on my mind and I say something about waiting on that, he said "Some things are worth waiting for" IT BLEW MY MIND!!! Usually the only way I get a second date is to put out on the first date! YAY!!!

I love being,

The Beaverhausen

Confidence and Bad Behavior

So these are my thoughts for the last few days. Men dig confidence, and from what people tell me I'm overflowing with it. My second thought is that the bad behavior of men is getting to epic levels!


OK so, confidence is sexy. With all my emailing with Mr. DHAFG we have been going back and forth about the pool playing that is to commence tonight and he says he will beat me I say back how I will beat him and it's really fun! In reality I'm horrible at pool, I can hit a ball into a pocket once every 16 turns or so, clearly I'm bluffing. I'm great at bluffing! Even with all my body insecurities I can talk an awesome game and sometimes even back it up! Whenever I talk to a guy and feel comfortable and he expresses liking me back I always ask "Why?" because it is my favorite question to ask. Not that I'm trying to talk them out of liking me by any means, I'm just curious what is attractive about me to them. The long and the short of it, confidence. I will be the first, sometimes the second on a low day, to tell you that I'm the best! With confidence comes good energy and a feeling that you can do anything. When I interviewed for the Investigator position I was told that I was one of 20 people to fill 3 open positions. My confidence hit the basement! I talked to my mom, Gracie, The Nurse, and The Gay Husband. After bringing me back up I went to the interview and apparently talked my way into the job. Even knowing the odds and just guessing at the outcome people would ask if I've heard anything about the job and I'd say "Nope, just waiting for them to call me and tell me when to start!" I had no clue if it was going to actually happen, but I was not going to speak bad about it and have it not happen! I am the key to my own success or demise.

Has anyone else noticed that men have really horrible behavior these days? Not all men and women are not totally blameless on this either but most of my wonderful girlfriends are getting divorced because their husbands are, well how to put this nicely...their husbands are acting like douche bags! Luckily my sisters we have more choices than our mothers and grandmothers, thank goodness for the sexual revolution! My wonderful friends are getting divorced because their husbands are having sex with everything possible, or in the case of Lala she followed her husband all over the country to be left in the northwest while he moved away to San Fransisco. Seriously?!? In my opinion, what women need to learn is that we do not need a man to survive. Although they are nice to have, we can earn our own money, buy our own houses, have babies on our own if we so choose. We need to snap out of the archaic mindset of "I have to get married and have babies, I can't be alone forever" both of my aunts never got married, never had children, have their careers, make money, own their own homes, and are quite content. Would they have liked to have children, probably, but they are satisfied with how their lives turned out. We have got to learn to be satisfied in ourselves and not look for someone else to complete us. We no longer have to suffer the bad behavior of these men!

On a lighter note...I had to have a TB test for my new career, I've had them before and never had a positive test result. So I went Wednesday morning and cringed at the little bubble of fluid under my skin, the clinic said to return 48-72 hours afterwards to have it read. OK no problem. Last night I'm looking and it's getting all red and I'm still thinking "Nah, it's negative". So I get dressed for yoga this morning and I'm thinking "Man, this thing is starting to itch bad!" so here comes the panic. What do I do if this is positive, will the state not hire me? Will I have to grovel at the PD for my job back and live in high school hell on the edge of poverty for the rest of my life?!? So I skip yoga and go to the clinic, show the front desk girl my piece of paper and my arm and comment on how it's itching bad! So she gets a second opinion and a third opinion of if she should check me in and possible chest x-rays, full panic mode!!! The Ex had false positive tests and had to always get chest x-rays, but I'm not putting this on my insurance because it feels like I'm using them to get my new job, to me it feels like fraud. So more fuel for the fire, chest x-rays cost money! So they put me in a room to have the doctor look and say if the test is positive or negative. While sitting alone in the room I can see all my expendable income flying out the TB riddled door. The very handsome doctor comes in a few minutes later, measures the bump and says "8mm, it's negative" I let out a sigh and declare him my new favorite person. I almost had a massive heart attack in front of a very attractive doctor in my yoga clothes. So I call my mother and I'm relaying the story to her and she says "Well if you had to go beg for your job back at least you wouldn't live that long with TB" my sister said "You were a good sister, at least you don't have to worry about your debt" so I fake yell at them both saying "I'M NEGATIVE!!!"...jeeeze it's only noon and I have a date tonight and no 3/4 length sleeve shirts with a hideous bump on my arm!

No one else has the guts to be,

The Beaverhausen

I Am Awesome

This post inspired by Gracie...

So yes, tomorrow night is the date with Mr. DHAFG, I have mostly decided what to wear and what my hair and makeup will look like. I have been on countless other dates since my divorce in November 2008, some successful and some not so much. It wasn't until shortly after my divorce when I started talking to Navy Boy that my whole philosophy was changed. Although it did eventually lead to massive heartache there were some good points to the whole...whatever it was between us. After the divorce I felt awful, fat, and useless. The Ex and I were so comfortable in the relationship that we each gained 100+ pounds, all that extra weight is not so good when you want to dive back into the dating world. Plus I was still in college full time and working full time, I was EXHAUSTED! While we were together if I didn't want to go to class that day The Ex would say "Awww if you are so tired, it's OK you don't have to go to school...you can get whatever you missed later". Later when Navy Boy was in the picture he would say "You better get your ass out of bed and go to school, I don't care what excuses you have just go or you will miss something really important!" that totally scares me and makes me paranoid that in reality I WILL miss something really important and be screwed. After he told me that I don't think I missed more than 1 or 2 days each semester! The Ex was so afraid of failure he would never even try, which in reality isn't a lack of trying a failure in itself? I am not that way, but I was temporarily I think I just had to get my drive back. When I announced my desire to divorce my whole family was pissed, accused me of being a bully and told me I should be nicer to The Ex. My dad (even though we are not on speaking terms at this time) was one of the two people behind me, he said "You are just like me, if there is a bell to be rung you are going to jump up and do it yourself, you will not let anyone else do it for you" which is very true. For example, after I lost 80 of the 100 pounds that was added during my marriage I was exploding with energy and ready to take on the world, Navy Boy and I were having an idle daily conversation and I have never been very athletic but expressed a desire to run, he simply says "Well do it" so I'm cycling through my excuses about how my boobs are too big and I'll get a black eye when one hits me in the face or all that fat bouncing up and down might hypnotize a passing motorist and cause a huge accident. Needless to say I got yelled at, which is good because I talked my supervisor into going with me and we would alternate running and walking. Even though at several points I wanted to lay down and die and was hoping that all the tar in my lungs from my recent quitting smoking would stick together and kill me, I survived! To this day I still don't smoke and can run a little bit further with much less effort! I even alternate running and walking at the gym on the treadmill and they have bright lights and other people in the building and I'm risking public humiliation!

Back in December 2009 I got a gym membership and was horrified to go to the classes by myself, I mean come on I might fall on my face knocking all my teeth out leaving a blood trail while I drag myself out of the room in shame! The very first class I went to was pilates, of course I'm the heaviest girl in the room and have never done anything like this and was afraid they would all laugh at me. The instructor in all her perfect body glory greeted me happily and everyone was so sweet and encouraging. By the end of the hour 1) I was sure the instructor was a sadist and liked to see me cringe in pain, 2) was not sure any of my major muscle groups would ever work again, and 3) I HAD DONE IT! To this day, as my schedule allows, I love pilates yoga and bodypump. I sweat like a pig in a slaughterhouse but I do it, the pilates instructor that I suspected of being a sadist is my very favorite instructor for bodypump and I see her every week. When I look around to this day in any class I'm in there are people moaning and groaning and struggling just like me, the only time I let myself be momentarily intimidated is when I'm going to a brand new class that I've never tried before.

I am a very unassuming average looking girl, curly crazy hair, amazon tall, and I have rolls where I would like them not to be. I have 1 visible tattoo, the other 7 are hidden. I also have piercings, but we'll just leave it at that! I can very easily blend into a crowd, as long as I don't open my big mouth. I'm pretty sure that most people in my college classes will not remember me, contrary to popular opinion I can be shy! The point to my babbling is that since my divorce I've gone on a countless number of dates, some I've scared myself to death and some I stay relaxed. Even though I am overweight and not the media desired stick figure perfection I can totally hook hot guys. In the last year there have been pilots, personal trainers, Army, Air Force, Fire Fighters, all younger than me and for the most part they are lovely physical specimens. I can not promise to never doubt myself, I am human and my own worst critic. I have my days where my greatest fear is that I will live alone forever with my cats and no man will ever love me, but this time in my life I've been happier than I have in years. There are nights when I would love to be snuggled up to a man and in a relationship but then I think to myself "if I was sharing my bed I'd have to sleep on one side and not in the middle!". I am very fortunate to be in my situation, I don't have to schedule my life around someone else or get approval on what I want to do. If I want to pick up and go see friends, I can.

When in a dating situation, if the guy stays around I can see what I would want to happen in the future but I will no longer push for it. I HATE waiting for guys to text, call, or email it drives me batty, but if I'm too overbearing it will send them running for the hills. As stated before, my whole philosophy changed! Even though sometimes it does sound shallow and self centered to me even I still use it. I spent years of my life scared that no male would deem me worthy because of my long list of flaws and that left me self loathing. Today I do what I want, I drive an awesome car, go to the gym when I want to, and work and bring home my paycheck. I take care of me, and if I want to go to the gym and bounce endlessly on the treadmill after I get off work, I do it. After my bills are paid and responsibility taken care of, if I want to spend an insane amount of money on shoes that I might not wear often, I do. That's what Navy Boy taught me. I thought for so long he was just being a jerk and didn't care about me, in reality he was taking care of himself. I ask no one for permission and I live without fear. Even if the date with Mr. DHAFG tanks and we never speak again I still have the knowledge that I went out and tried it and did not let fear hold me back. Even in the event of failure, I attempted to succeed and will try again another day. I am very fortunate to have an excellent support system and in the event of low self-esteem I can pick up my cell phone and talk it through with someone that both loves me and will kick my ever loving ass. I am awesome.

As Always,

The Beaverhausen

Petty Little Napoleon Syndrome Riddled Man...

Apparently, I've been more of a topic at work than I imagined. Here I am thinking I come and go and no one really cars, clearly not true. So I emailed my informal 2 weeks notice last Thursday night/Friday morning. I had the weekend off and took in a printed out signed formal 2 weeks notice letter Monday when I showed up for my shift. I was really nervous and the manager (who is the petty little Napoleon syndrome riddled man, he's 5'4 I'm 5'9 at the least hehe) so I gave him the formal letter, he made little sniffling sounds and then I sign in to do my normal shift harassing him all the way. So I go back today and the other supervisor shows up early and the three of us get to talking and all the sudden they start talking about how they are shocked that the manager is going to let me finish out my 2 weeks.

I suppose I come from a world built mostly on honesty. The manager had to see it coming because well frankly, he knew I was graduating with a bachelors degree and flat out said he would not pay me more to compensate for it. Fine with me, I really didn't want to be a 911 operator fire/police/ems dispatcher biting my tongue all along the way, eventually I would crack and get fired for running my head to a citizen who originally called to run their head at whoever answered the phone over something that didn't affect me anyways. I have only had 2 jobs out of the last 12 years that I did not finish out my 2 weeks notice. The first was from my very first job checking groceries at the small town local grocery store from another Napoleon syndrome riddled little man that told me 2 weeks was not necessary, 1 was fine. Meh, whatever I was 17, all I could think about was boys and beer. The second was from working for my father, he was usually drunk and as it turns out, my older half brother was blaming the work that was not getting done (that he was supposed to be doing) on me, I was told I either had to stay or quit immediately because he would not have someone working for him and looking for another job at the same time. In a now infamous move I proudly said f*ck you and left, I did pay for that with 6 months of time with no income. But, I digress...

I previously have expressed my concerns to my mother saying that I had a feeling that he was going to shitcan me immediately, she reassured me (because she comes from a happy world) that only petty horrible people do that and she was sure my current place of employment was not that horrible. Well WTF man...When my other 2 coworkers were talking tonight they were discussing the fact that everyone that has put in 2 weeks notice while under the rule of the Czar has been immediately let go. So I ask in what manner did the other people put in notice, were they angry or were they polite. Oh no, one particular person put in notice because their spouse was transferred and then drove 60 miles in to their night shift and was met in the parking lot by a supervisor (because the manager is a coward) and let go. Really?!? So I'm not thinking it was because I was super polite in my putting in notice. Is it because I tower over him a good 5 inches and he's afraid of me stepping on him? Probably not or I would have been paid more all along.

So I pose this question to my 3 closest confidants Gracie, The Nurse, and The Gay Husband. The good thing about these 3 is that they build me up, can all act goofy, and all kick my ass if I need it. Gracie, immediately says it is because "they can't replace the Beav, I told you". The Nurse first wonders why then says "you will probably have dealings with them again, and may be higher on the food chain than him" the evil part of me giggles with joy at how fun that experience may be. The Gay Husband, ever brilliant and wise says "Eh, it happens but you are going to be a state investigator, you are not likely to f up the crime systems". My mom says it's because him letting me go would put a strain on the schedule, I quickly reply that my shift can be filled easily. It is definitely a noodle scratcher, maybe I took all the thrill out of letting me go immediately when I said "Well they wanted me to start on the 21st but I insisted that I needed to give 2 weeks notice" so knowing that I will not be destitute on the streets begging for the spare change and lint from the bottom of his pockets and that I can immediately move on to bigger and better times just killed the sexual desire he achieves from being a petty little Napoleon Syndrome Riddled Man...

On a lighter note, I have a date this Friday...we will call him Mr. Die Hard Air Force Guy. I admit, I am a child of the technological age and am on several dating websites. If nothing else they are for entertainment. So Mr. DHAFG and I double matched sometime last year then he disappeared, turns out he was deployed and is now back in town. I send him a message and we have been emailing almost constantly for a week now. So he asked what I was doing Friday night, I reply that I am going to my favorite bodypump class and should be able to shower and throw on some makeup and be good to go. He suggested we meet at a pool hall type place for drinks and playing pool, I agree and let the trash talk commence! This should be fun, usually on dates I feel self conscious and scared shitless because the guy will see all my faults and be instantly repulsed by me. This time, I'm not worried, I feel comfortable and have a feeling that even if the romantic sparks don't fly he will be fun to hang out with. There is only one troubling piece of the puzzle and the reason he got his name...he did mention that he is trying to get sent overseas to Germany or wherever they will send him, therefore the name of Mr. DHAFG was born. Even if nothing happens, at least I was not sitting home on a Friday night crying about how bored I was, I was out having fun with a handsome man nonetheless.

As Always,

The Beaverhausen

Acting Our Age...

After 3 weeks with a non-functioning kitchen...YAY!!! Isn't that awesome!

Also i'm going to turn in my formal 2 weeks notice letter. I'm always freaked out that they will immediately cut me loose, with this job since it is so hard to replace people I don't think they will but it is always an irrational fear in the back of my mind. If they do, that's ok. CPS wanted me to start on the 21st anyways and I refused saying I really needed to give 2 weeks notice. I can hear Gracie screaming from 2 hours away and as much as I really want to be pissy and say "hey, for all the times you screwed me over and made me cry i'm leaving NOW!" we are adults (as much as we don't want to be) and I have to side with mom on this...we don't want to burn bridges. I'd much rather turn Thor loose on them and watch them all run hehe...

So for now we will act like adults...at the moment though I have to throw on some warpaint, put on my uniform, and with my 2 weeks notice letter in my hot little hand i'll venture towards work. I can feel my stomach turning and queezing out, it'll be ok. After work I HAVE to go to the gym, my ankle is much better and it's time to get back on the treadmill. Tomorrow i'm so happy, my very favorite pilates instructor is back! So back to the gym grind I go, plus it will all help with the anxiety.

Until Next Time...

Anastasia

Life, headaches, and nausea...

So the counter top people showed up almost 2 hours late, but we *should* be done with them and the neighbor is coming to hook up the kitchen sink tomorrow, WOOHOO.

I just printed out my formal letter of two weeks notice. Even though I'm sad about leaving and will miss the good times and seeing the friends I've made all the time, it truly is time to go.

Thor is following me around the house and staring at me telling me it's time to go to bed...

He's not nearly this sweet all the time, he didn't get the evil status by looking like this! More on him at another time, in a nutshell he's Birman (totally cool legend if you look up Birman cats online...he's saaaaaacred) about 5 years old, and I suspect he's also an expert ninja.

Enough, the back of my head is going to blow off and frankly I'm a bit nauseated from this headache...until next time.

Wouldn't want to be anything but,

The Beaverhausen

Really...are ya really sure you want to...

So, back at the beginning of October the house flooded, and not because a pipe burst or anything, most of our side of the street flooded due to continuing construction north of us that drains down on us and several several inches of rain dumping down on us in 30 minutes to an hour. It was a horrific time and the side of the house with my bedroom, Gracie's old room, and kitchen are on got the worst of the damage. So after months of fighting with insurance companies and fighting with the company that did such a *great* (total sarcasm, they suck) job of removing the water, removing all of the ruined carpet from the house, and setting up the wind tunnel droning fans that were running constantly until 2 seconds before you want to go on a massive killing spree we finally had ceramic floors. Mostly thanks to mom because she's so handy and I don't have that gene, but I did do what I could. But I digress...so since most houses built in the 80's were made of pressed wood and the bathroom and kitchen cabinets soak up water like a sponge the cabinets are falling apart. It's coming up on 9 months later after the flood and still...STILL the house is being fixed.

My mother is about the most docile human being on the planet, at least when other people are around that aren't considered family. These worker type people come through and tell her something that would throwing me into a wildly spinning hissy fit and all she does is take a deep breath and bottle up all her rage until she gets into traffic and can make gestures that embarrass me to no end and spew some of the worst combinations of words that I could not even begin to mutter. So this latest round of people trampling through my house are for custom made wood cabinets and granite counter tops. The cabinets are in (except for one that hangs above the stove), the part of the wall mom wanted cut out has been done, for the past 2 weeks we have been waiting for the counter tops. The woman that is the main contact for the counter tops is the daughter of the man that made the cabinets and a total flake. Why they couldn't do all this at one time, I'll never be able to figure out. So I wait yesterday for the actual delivery of said counter tops, so these 2 guys come in lug all hundreds of pounds of granite into the house and they are banging stuff around and I'm taking it all happily because we will again have a kitchen sink and a functioning kitchen, yay!!!

As quickly as my hopes were raised they were snuffed out...problems always a problem. The walls in the kitchen are not perfectly straight which causes problems and the granite is not going in correctly and they will have to re cut something and come back tomorrow. Oh yeah by the way, they were also an hour late. So I'm saying "mom, call her and find out when they are coming back tomorrow" so often I sound like a broken record. Mom says "oh no, she said she would call back in 30 minutes, so I'll just wait until she calls"...time passes...no call...Anastasia unhappy. We are on the way to get some food and I'm calling the granite lady a flake mom is telling me to call her when we get home. Okie dokie...I call it's almost 7:00 pm she answers and says "Oh, I'm at the shop right now trying to figure this out with my guy, if I don't call you back in 30 minutes I'll call you first thing in the morning!". Oh please, don't make me laugh! If she was a pizza delivery girl all the pizzas would be molded and 3 weeks late! So mom leaves to go to Dallas and I wake up and realize the granite flake still has not called. I call her and it's almost 10:00 am and she says "OK, can we come by in about 2 hours?" I'm like "sure OK you'll be here at noon". Noon comes and goes and again, no granite flake. Unlike my mother, I am far from docile. I'm not evil (as several people would lead you to believe) I just think that if you are doing a job you should get it done to the best of your abilities and be there when you say you will be there to do said job. So the granite flake shows up 45 minutes late, I'm watching the drug bust and news crews down the street and she shows up. No trailer no several people, no equipment to cut the hole for the kitchen faucet, just the granite flake and yet another person I have never seen. So the granite flake and the new guy come into the house look at the cabinets comment about how they can fix this but they have to remove the counter tops and redo the cabinets because they were set wrong (don't forget, the cabinets were put in by the granite flake's dad) and it can all happen tomorrow...always tomorrow. Oh, they can be here at 9:30 am...30 minutes after I wake up, the time of the day I sincerely appreciate solitude and drinking coffee alone because I am a notoriously BAD morning person. So, since my mouth is usually quicker than the filter that should stop me from saying things I say "hey, it's been 3 weeks, why not stretch it out another f***ing month!" I don't regret saying it, if they did the job quicker they could have had it done and dealt with my docile mother, instead they screw around and get me. I don't mind when people think I'm evil and mean, in fact I think it is really funny when they scatter when I have the unhappy look on my face. So we wait, until tomorrow...

As Always,
The Beaverhausen

The Need to Blog...

I blame Gracie for this...she started blogging and she is completely hilarious, so now I too have the urge to express myself. Well actually it will probably turn out to be more of a rant page, but whatev it's still my life!

So for the last few years I've been working as a 911 operator / police/fire/ems dispatcher for a small semi-rural county. While working full time I was also getting divorced and going to college full time...busy girl! So I graduated December 2009 with my B.A. in Psychology and had no clue what to do with it. Well actually I take that back, I was looking for probation positions with Bexar County but they didn't have anything but Juvenile probation, so with a cringe on my face I applied and was immediately shot down! That was back in January-ish and I hadn't figured out what to do next. So also back in January I saw a posting for a Child Protective Services Investigator for the town I was already working at the PD...so I applied and never ever even got a response! So I waited a few months and as usual weathered the good and bad at work and finally saw another couple of postings, one for Investigator and one for Family Based Safety Services Worker. So I applied for both and they called me for an interview!!! So I turned on the ole charm, put on my cutest sensible shoes and a rockin pencil skirt and white button up shirt. The outfit said awesome yet sensible and fashionable all in one! They had no clue what was coming when I walked in the door...in those heels it was more like all 6 foot of me walking in the door, jeeeze. So they blah blah blah, I blah blah blah about all my worldly experience and bing, bang, boom a month later I get the call! Except...the call was offering me the Family Based Safety Services position for less dough, I'm like hmmmm not too sure about that. So trying to sound as grateful as possible I ask what happened with the investigator job, we chat for a minute, I plead with her not to think I'm ungrateful, she says she will call me back by 5pm that day. So I settle in with an episode of Will and Grace and prepare for a long wait. TA-DA 30 minutes later I'm an Investigator, WOOHOO!!!

So this is where life starts...I'm nervous as hell about giving 2 weeks notice and running off (yet again) to a job...scratch that...a CAREER I will more than likely have a love/hate relationship with. When I worked on the ambulance there was this patient that all the crews got called to that was battling an uncontrolled seizure disorder, the kicker with him is when he was post-ictal he was super combative, one day my partner and I hear the call go out again and I say "Ya know, that guy has never fought us...wonder why that is..." he replied "well, that's because you have this look on your face that says, dude seriously don't f*** with me!" Even recently my own mother said that I have this look on my face (apparently makeup and innocent smiles do not cover, I've tried!) that says I don't take any crap off of anyone! Makes me wonder why people love to give me crap...hmmm. Hopefully this no crap look will carry over.

I remain, as always
The Beaverhausen