So these are my thoughts for the last few days. Men dig confidence, and from what people tell me I'm overflowing with it. My second thought is that the bad behavior of men is getting to epic levels!
OK so, confidence is sexy. With all my emailing with Mr. DHAFG we have been going back and forth about the pool playing that is to commence tonight and he says he will beat me I say back how I will beat him and it's really fun! In reality I'm horrible at pool, I can hit a ball into a pocket once every 16 turns or so, clearly I'm bluffing. I'm great at bluffing! Even with all my body insecurities I can talk an awesome game and sometimes even back it up! Whenever I talk to a guy and feel comfortable and he expresses liking me back I always ask "Why?" because it is my favorite question to ask. Not that I'm trying to talk them out of liking me by any means, I'm just curious what is attractive about me to them. The long and the short of it, confidence. I will be the first, sometimes the second on a low day, to tell you that I'm the best! With confidence comes good energy and a feeling that you can do anything. When I interviewed for the Investigator position I was told that I was one of 20 people to fill 3 open positions. My confidence hit the basement! I talked to my mom, Gracie, The Nurse, and The Gay Husband. After bringing me back up I went to the interview and apparently talked my way into the job. Even knowing the odds and just guessing at the outcome people would ask if I've heard anything about the job and I'd say "Nope, just waiting for them to call me and tell me when to start!" I had no clue if it was going to actually happen, but I was not going to speak bad about it and have it not happen! I am the key to my own success or demise.
Has anyone else noticed that men have really horrible behavior these days? Not all men and women are not totally blameless on this either but most of my wonderful girlfriends are getting divorced because their husbands are, well how to put this nicely...their husbands are acting like douche bags! Luckily my sisters we have more choices than our mothers and grandmothers, thank goodness for the sexual revolution! My wonderful friends are getting divorced because their husbands are having sex with everything possible, or in the case of Lala she followed her husband all over the country to be left in the northwest while he moved away to San Fransisco. Seriously?!? In my opinion, what women need to learn is that we do not need a man to survive. Although they are nice to have, we can earn our own money, buy our own houses, have babies on our own if we so choose. We need to snap out of the archaic mindset of "I have to get married and have babies, I can't be alone forever" both of my aunts never got married, never had children, have their careers, make money, own their own homes, and are quite content. Would they have liked to have children, probably, but they are satisfied with how their lives turned out. We have got to learn to be satisfied in ourselves and not look for someone else to complete us. We no longer have to suffer the bad behavior of these men!
On a lighter note...I had to have a TB test for my new career, I've had them before and never had a positive test result. So I went Wednesday morning and cringed at the little bubble of fluid under my skin, the clinic said to return 48-72 hours afterwards to have it read. OK no problem. Last night I'm looking and it's getting all red and I'm still thinking "Nah, it's negative". So I get dressed for yoga this morning and I'm thinking "Man, this thing is starting to itch bad!" so here comes the panic. What do I do if this is positive, will the state not hire me? Will I have to grovel at the PD for my job back and live in high school hell on the edge of poverty for the rest of my life?!? So I skip yoga and go to the clinic, show the front desk girl my piece of paper and my arm and comment on how it's itching bad! So she gets a second opinion and a third opinion of if she should check me in and possible chest x-rays, full panic mode!!! The Ex had false positive tests and had to always get chest x-rays, but I'm not putting this on my insurance because it feels like I'm using them to get my new job, to me it feels like fraud. So more fuel for the fire, chest x-rays cost money! So they put me in a room to have the doctor look and say if the test is positive or negative. While sitting alone in the room I can see all my expendable income flying out the TB riddled door. The very handsome doctor comes in a few minutes later, measures the bump and says "8mm, it's negative" I let out a sigh and declare him my new favorite person. I almost had a massive heart attack in front of a very attractive doctor in my yoga clothes. So I call my mother and I'm relaying the story to her and she says "Well if you had to go beg for your job back at least you wouldn't live that long with TB" my sister said "You were a good sister, at least you don't have to worry about your debt" so I fake yell at them both saying "I'M NEGATIVE!!!"...jeeeze it's only noon and I have a date tonight and no 3/4 length sleeve shirts with a hideous bump on my arm!
No one else has the guts to be,
The Beaverhausen
OK so, confidence is sexy. With all my emailing with Mr. DHAFG we have been going back and forth about the pool playing that is to commence tonight and he says he will beat me I say back how I will beat him and it's really fun! In reality I'm horrible at pool, I can hit a ball into a pocket once every 16 turns or so, clearly I'm bluffing. I'm great at bluffing! Even with all my body insecurities I can talk an awesome game and sometimes even back it up! Whenever I talk to a guy and feel comfortable and he expresses liking me back I always ask "Why?" because it is my favorite question to ask. Not that I'm trying to talk them out of liking me by any means, I'm just curious what is attractive about me to them. The long and the short of it, confidence. I will be the first, sometimes the second on a low day, to tell you that I'm the best! With confidence comes good energy and a feeling that you can do anything. When I interviewed for the Investigator position I was told that I was one of 20 people to fill 3 open positions. My confidence hit the basement! I talked to my mom, Gracie, The Nurse, and The Gay Husband. After bringing me back up I went to the interview and apparently talked my way into the job. Even knowing the odds and just guessing at the outcome people would ask if I've heard anything about the job and I'd say "Nope, just waiting for them to call me and tell me when to start!" I had no clue if it was going to actually happen, but I was not going to speak bad about it and have it not happen! I am the key to my own success or demise.
Has anyone else noticed that men have really horrible behavior these days? Not all men and women are not totally blameless on this either but most of my wonderful girlfriends are getting divorced because their husbands are, well how to put this nicely...their husbands are acting like douche bags! Luckily my sisters we have more choices than our mothers and grandmothers, thank goodness for the sexual revolution! My wonderful friends are getting divorced because their husbands are having sex with everything possible, or in the case of Lala she followed her husband all over the country to be left in the northwest while he moved away to San Fransisco. Seriously?!? In my opinion, what women need to learn is that we do not need a man to survive. Although they are nice to have, we can earn our own money, buy our own houses, have babies on our own if we so choose. We need to snap out of the archaic mindset of "I have to get married and have babies, I can't be alone forever" both of my aunts never got married, never had children, have their careers, make money, own their own homes, and are quite content. Would they have liked to have children, probably, but they are satisfied with how their lives turned out. We have got to learn to be satisfied in ourselves and not look for someone else to complete us. We no longer have to suffer the bad behavior of these men!
On a lighter note...I had to have a TB test for my new career, I've had them before and never had a positive test result. So I went Wednesday morning and cringed at the little bubble of fluid under my skin, the clinic said to return 48-72 hours afterwards to have it read. OK no problem. Last night I'm looking and it's getting all red and I'm still thinking "Nah, it's negative". So I get dressed for yoga this morning and I'm thinking "Man, this thing is starting to itch bad!" so here comes the panic. What do I do if this is positive, will the state not hire me? Will I have to grovel at the PD for my job back and live in high school hell on the edge of poverty for the rest of my life?!? So I skip yoga and go to the clinic, show the front desk girl my piece of paper and my arm and comment on how it's itching bad! So she gets a second opinion and a third opinion of if she should check me in and possible chest x-rays, full panic mode!!! The Ex had false positive tests and had to always get chest x-rays, but I'm not putting this on my insurance because it feels like I'm using them to get my new job, to me it feels like fraud. So more fuel for the fire, chest x-rays cost money! So they put me in a room to have the doctor look and say if the test is positive or negative. While sitting alone in the room I can see all my expendable income flying out the TB riddled door. The very handsome doctor comes in a few minutes later, measures the bump and says "8mm, it's negative" I let out a sigh and declare him my new favorite person. I almost had a massive heart attack in front of a very attractive doctor in my yoga clothes. So I call my mother and I'm relaying the story to her and she says "Well if you had to go beg for your job back at least you wouldn't live that long with TB" my sister said "You were a good sister, at least you don't have to worry about your debt" so I fake yell at them both saying "I'M NEGATIVE!!!"...jeeeze it's only noon and I have a date tonight and no 3/4 length sleeve shirts with a hideous bump on my arm!
No one else has the guts to be,
The Beaverhausen
You're absolutely right. I have lost myself and who I am through countless bad relationships that have left me feeling fat, worthless and ugly because I have not given myself the time to heal and repair the damages done by some retarded idiot who was a mistake to date to begin with. *deep breath* I'm continuing to work on it though.
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