so yeah...

I tooootally didn't end up making another clean dinner tonight, I had a cheeseburger instead, BUT I did bake the sweet potato oat bars to take as snacks because my stomach was growling something fierce in risk assessment training today! In my twisted sugar soaked mentality I had them pegged as being sweeter, my new task at hand is to retrain my brain to not always turn away when something isn't sweet. They are good, filled with sweet potato, oats, raisins, almonds, pumpkin pie spice, maple syrup, all good for me yummy things, and the baking......OOOOOOOH the baking smells extra super double yummy! They are good though, and better than other things I could be putting in my body. Cmon brain, get with the program! :)

As Always,

The Beaverhausen

First Clean Meal Report...

So since I decided to eat clean, it's just something I've been thinking about constantly as I do not have the full funds to go all out at this time. Although I do what I can, ever since Mrs. Adventure posted the breakfast staple at her house I adapted it to what I have and it's awesome! I eat it every morning, since the yogurt I use is plain and I also use almond milk the oatmeal honey almonds and blueberries it's as close as I can see to being clean. It has protein, complex carbs, good fats, fruit natural sweetner and not refined...yummm yummm I also sprinkle some wheat germ on it just for good measure! So that's one meal a day that's clean (mom eats it too and loves it, my sister even makes it for my grandma) and today was the first clean dinner. I got it out of the book by Tosca Reno The Eat-Clean Diet Recharged, you could also find the recipe on the website Eat-Clean Diet it's Asian Noodle Bowls and sooooooo goood! Something I will be cooking often for sure! Tomorrow is another new recipe, I'm not quite sure yet and I'm going to try my hand at making the Sweet Potato Breakfast Bars...can't wait!!! I do feel better, not as run down as usual for this time of night...

AH HA!!!

So yeah, figured out the root of the negativity on the way to the grocery store and then proved to her that what I had on my list was about $40 less than what would normally be spent on junk and crap. Yay veggies!

I am taking Thor to the vet on Saturday. I avoid really taking him to the vet, unless he needed it of course, because he bites everyone...like everyone! I always give the standard warning to all vets, but the fact that he is so pretty and soft no one listens. He is cranky and pissy and will bite, ask Gracie haha. So, yeah we are going to an all cat vet, which is supposed to lessen the anxiety and be better? We shall see. Oh, but the reason I'm taking him to the vet is because...well, how to explain this other than he is obsessively grooming. Like grooming to the point of having bald spots. *Tap tap tapping my foot* OK Gracie....stop laughing now! My poor precious angel. There's no redness or irritation, nothing bad, no scratching, just too much licking and cleaning. Along with the obsessive cleaning comes lots of hairballs, he's already small as it is he doesn't need to be bulimic for crying out loud! So yeah, Saturday morning we will see if this new vet works or not. I can soooo still tell that she's laughing, and I wonder why he is the way he is!

Ok I'm t-ired. I waited around all day with a friend of mine from class to assist in a removal of 5 kids under the age of 9. It was my co-worker, another worker with 2 people in her car, and me with my friend from BSD class in my car, oh and 2 SAPD officers. I had one kid, my co-worker had 2, and the other worker had 2. This was my first removal where we actually had to take the kids out of the house and move them to a shelter (not a scary place, I saw the place it's actually really nice) I talked to the kid that rode with us the whole way and he was OK with what was happening. Then when we got to the shelter the little ones my co-worker had fell asleep on the ride so I carried one around until she woke up. It's kinda heart wrenching but I know they are in a good place and away from what was harming them before. What a day, and it's only Monday.

As Always,

The Beaverhausen

Irritation levels rising...

For the past few weeks I've been all happy and positive, today I'm irritated. My biggest pet peeve in life is indecisive people. I understand that some decisions are hard to make, it took me 6 months before I fully committed to the decision to divorce my husband. Most decisions are not hard! I say, yes I want to eat clean and feel better. I'm tired of all the crap fast food and ready for something good and healthy. I now work normal hours and can come home and cook dinner, eat a good breakfast in the mornings, and pack good healthy food. Some people, I'm really trying not to name names, express a desire to lead a healthier life. Since they live in the house with me this makes it all the easier. So tonight I make up a grocery list of dinners to cook for the week that will result in leftovers for lunch. This person has been angry since I started making, at her request, breakfast to go because her co-worker says it looks gross and turns her nose up. This makes her angry and I suffer through the rants about it. Every recipe I show her she turns her nose up, eww tofu eww whats that eww that sounds gross eww eww eww. She does this to me every time I bring up a new and different idea. REALLY?!? DID YOU NOT JUST ASK FOR MY HELP!!! So I tell her she is doing the same thing to me that upsets her when her co-worker does it, all she says is "fine, you make it, I'll eat it" so now I'm automatically stuck with all the cooking. UGH!!!

CPS and kids actually like me...

It is so weird to still love my career...the more I learn, the more excited I am! Child Protective Services has a terrible reputation, at least by people that don't really know what we do. On Friday I rode with a co-worker in my unit to do more observing for OJT, she was going to court and that's part of what I needed to see. So we go to court and it's CPS trying to take custody of a 2 week old child that was born addicted to opiates and crack-cocaine. I did not see mom directly, but I read the report from the investigator and this baby is #4 that has been born addicted and removed or rights relinquished by mom, she admitted to drinking and doing heroin and crack-cocaine all during the pregnancy, that's the sad part. The happy part is that baby has been placed in a foster-adopt home that is ready to keep him forever, happy part! So court was interesting, we then move on to 3 visits and at first they are all afraid to see us, because investigators are the first to go see people, but when it's explained that we are NOT here to take your kids, we are here to help, the tension seems to ease. The first 2 moms actually cried at all the help we can give them. Giving clothes to a school age kid when mom and dad can't afford it, she was in tears and he was so happy. That is the AWESOME part of the my job! Offering counseling to help mom with her past issues of abuse, she was so thankful. I definitely had the warm fuzzies at work Friday.

So I'm sitting in my office Thursday and a co-worker sticks her head in asking if I could do her a big favor. I'm like sure OK, she then says "can you watch some kids while I interview mom?" oooh jeeeeze....I have like 10 minutes experience with kids, this could be bad. It turns out it was 3 kids all under the age of 5. *sigh* So the 2 older kids are talking to me, but the little girl won't even look at me. I gave her like 3 minutes and she's ALL OVER ME. Cute. Then her nose starts to run and boogers are coming out *gag* so I'm gingerly trying to clean her up *double gag* and all 3 kids are jabbering away talking to me and I'm nodding like I speak toddler. Which I don't! Then the 2 youngest kids decide they have to find mom, NOW! So they wiggle out of the cubicle that is directly across from my office and take off running down the hallway yelling for mom. SHIT! So here I am in my cute work clothes chasing 2 small yelling children with my unit giggling at me. I'll admit it, I was laughing at me too. Luckily my legs are about 20 times longer than the kids so I caught them just in time! Goofy kids. Then Friday while I'm all warm and fuzzied up there were two different 3 year olds at two different visits that were all over me. There was also a 9 month old that was intensely, seriously INTENSELY staring at me. I think it was the cleavage, kids and men are attracted to boobs. I've thought for years that kids really aren't crazy about me, but apparently they do like me! What a fun week.

The Beav

The Kitchen

Back in October 2009 the house flooded and just was a mess for a few months while dealing with the insurance company. Mom fought and fought to get new cabinets for the kitchen and today we were able to start on the backsplash...I think it looks so grown up!

New custom made wood cabinets, granite counter top, new sink, new faucet, and the tumbled marble backsplash. Tomorrow we will apply the seal stuff and grout and ta da! The kitchen is the last part of the house that needed to get fixed. There is already new tile all over the house and walls painted, bathrooms fixed, and now the kitchen is almost done!

Oh yeah, in other news. I haven't seen the ex husband since the day he left. I filed for divorce and did all the paperwork and signed it all. I get anxious whenever I go into bookstores because that was one of his favorite places to hang out. I went to Barnes and noble today and saw him. My first instinct was to turn and run and I did exactly that! Did not even give him a chance to see me! We both gained a lot of weight during the marriage and each lost a lot right before we split. I gained a few pounds back of what I've lost but I'm still smaller than what I was when we got divorced. He was huge. He was bigger than what he was at his biggest when he was with me. It's not because I miss him and want him back is why it upset me so bad, I'm still just not ready to face him.

The Beav

I knew it...

So I've hit the wall, I'm frustrated. For training they give me this big binder full of assignments and 3 supervisors and tell me they will explain later. So, when is later? Will it be the day the assignments are due? Make me sit in a classroom for 2 straight weeks and the trainer reads out of a book, no thought to what he's saying. The OJT (on the job training) Supervisor I'm supposed to take all my concerns to about the training has been out for the last week and a half. Where do I go now?!? You want me to document all this stuff, but don't tell me what to put in the documentation. You want me to use this computer program over the next two weeks to do assignments, but cancel the first everything I need to know about the computer program training class and the next one is two weeks away, right before all the assignments are due. Also if I don't pass this training with 70%, what happens then? Do I get shitcanned? By that time my old job will be filled and I'll be unemployed!!! I'm freaking out bad, I'm down to my last $300 in my checking account and it's 2 weeks to payday. I'm already a paycheck short this month, what now??? fuck.

Beav